Slightly psychopathic alcoholic who swears too much, eats too much and isn't particularly interesting or talented
909 Followers 373 Followings 4513 Tweets 50880 Likes
Assume every person on the flight that's wearing headphones wants to talk to you, they're just shy #FakeTravelTips
1 hours ago / 1 Retweets / 4 Likes
Always read the reviews, angry people complaining are only looking out for you #FakeTravelTips
2 hours ago / 1 Retweets / 2 Likes
#StopMakingExcusesFor not leaving the house. We all know you are addicted to twitter. https://t.co/JeIcAcCG5c
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1 days ago / 88 Retweets / 268 Likes
#ToSeekJusticeIWill tweet about it a million times instead of actually doing something useful about it, because I care, but I'm also lazy
1 days ago / 1 Retweets / 1 Likes
#ToSeekJusticeIWill not use violence, ignorant arguments or name calling ... I will use intelligent & knowledgeable facts to whip your ass.
1 days ago / 8 Retweets / 13 Likes
#TwitterEtiquetteForFacebookPeople STOP liking your own TWEETS.
1 days ago / 11 Retweets / 22 Likes
Grammar is very important here #TwitterEtiquetteForFacebookPeople
1 days ago / 1 Retweets / 5 Likes
#TwitterEtiquetteForFacebookPeople Hashtag games are for fun & laughs, not to push your religious or political beliefs, other tags for that.
1 days ago / 4 Retweets / 12 Likes
#TipsForDatingMyEx get ised to being disappointed
1 days ago / 0 Retweets / 1 Likes
#TipsForDatingMyEx keep you expectations very very very low
1 days ago / 1 Retweets / 2 Likes
#ITookTheLongWayBecause Hoggle said so https://t.co/S9HPtzFHzJ
2 days ago / 1 Retweets / 1 Likes
#WaitTillIFigureOutHowTo lose weight without changing my bad eating habits
2 days ago / 3 Retweets / 5 Likes
#WaitTillIFigureOutHowTo think of you without crying my eyes out
2 days ago / 0 Retweets / 3 Likes
Pineapple and pizza #ThingsThatDontMix
2 days ago / 2 Retweets / 2 Likes
Expedia with good service #ThingsThatDontMix
2 days ago / 1 Retweets / 3 Likes
#ImFeelingLuckyBecause I got a like and a retweet
2 days ago / 1 Retweets / 2 Likes
#ImFeelingLuckyBecause cats are not puking in my bedroom any more
#ImFeelingLuckyBecause I still have all of my teeth & most of my hair .
2 days ago / 1 Retweets / 4 Likes
#ImFeelingLuckyBecause this tag told me to feel it.
2 days ago / 13 Retweets / 23 Likes